flashes and sequins
by MYZ-chan
Summary: Usually, the best way to indulge in literary mutilation is to write it. Twenty-fourth one-shot: Tobi, Deidara, Stood. -COMPLETE-
1. Kidoumaru, Temari Goodbye

Title-Goodbye

Rating-M

Pairing: Kidoumaru X Temari

Warnings-Depression, disturbing, crack pairing

Authors Note-This is a piece of crap, I know, but who in the name of hell cares? I was depressed as hell today, my friend bitched about killing herself, and I cried myself hoarse when I got home. Yeah, not my best day ever. So this spawned up, and it is the beginning of my challenge series.

He never really liked rain. It soaked his clothes, made his hair flop in his face, and messed up his webs in a fight. In Kidoumaru's opinion, rain absolutely _sucked_.

So it really surprised him when he finds himself lying on his back in an alleyway, crushing his lips against a girl who he didn't even know, for Kami's sake, and both of them feeling each other top to down, moaning and licking each other's mouths in ecstasy, all the while the rain poured down on them.

The next morning, he walked back to his temporary apartment in silence and bemusement, wondering how the hell that had happened, and how in the name of Kami did she get away without him noticing.

He also wonders if he will see her ever again.

He doesn't.

And as Kidoumaru lay on the cold stone floor, wheezing his last breaths, he sees a dirty blonde young woman with a iron fan on her back smirking at him, and he prays that she doesn't find him like this, that she isn't the one that will find his decaying corpse on the floor of the forest. It was a ridiculous hope. But it was there, as he closed his eyes to the world around him, as everything went black

_Goodbye_.


	2. Kidoumaru, Tayuya Stick

Title: Switch

Rating: M, just in case

Warnings: Craziness, Confusion, Tension, Kidoumaru's knowledge of how to cook, Tayuya's foul mouth and extreme crack.

Author's note: This was fun to write. Horny Kidou is love. XD I couldn't imagine him being a cook, so this happened with the image of him messing up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. OK, so yeah. Don't like, don't read.

Tayuya was-per say-in a very sticky situation. Literally. Covered in slightly burnt peanut butter and jelly, which was dripping off her freshly laundered clothes, she stared her boyfriend standing in the middle of the goop. There was an awkward silence. Finally, she spoke.

"The fuck did you do, freak?"

Kidoumaru scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, you see, it's a funny story Tay-chan-"

"And I can't wait to hear it. Spill it out already so I can go back and take a shower." Glowering, she faced Kidoumaru, who cowered in her gaze.

"OK, ok, geez. I just thought that I would warm up a sandwich, so I-"

"Idiot, you don't warm up a sandwich. It's against the laws of cooking."

Kidoumaru jutted out his jaw. "Says who?"

Tayuya bit her lip as she couldn't help thinking, _God he looks so cute when he's stubborn_. "Says the cookbook for toddlers, dumb ass. Anyone knows that."

"So? I can make my own recipes now, so there!"

"You do know that when you say that, it's very hard to believe that you're fourteen."

Kidoumaru suddenly smirked, and Tayuya blinked in surprise as he appeared behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "That's why you like me, right?"

Tayuya scowled as a faint blush crept up her cheeks. "Shut up."

In the end, they had to order a takeout and eat dinner by the TV because the kitchen was too messed up to do anything about it yet. And so concluded the Sticky Incident of the day.

Yes, sucky ending. Ah well, I'm a sucker for happy ending anyways.


	3. Ukon, Sakon Always

Title: Always

Rating: M

Warnings: Angst, child abuse, and warped psychology

Authors note: Spawned out of the idea that Ukon is an extremely overprotective big brother and the question of how he became that way.

I hated them all. I hated all those goddamn shits that kicked me little brother everywhere till he bled, the ones that kicked him in that room for hours on end, laughing at his banging and screaming to _**get him out of there**_ and _**not to leave him alone in there**_ and that I would save him.

Me. The big brother who failed his duty to protect the younger, the one that only stared in horror as they pressed those iron bars onto his brothers back, ignoring the youngers flailing and screaming.

So I swore later on that I would always stay by my brothers side. To always protect him. Always.

Always.


	4. Gaara, Akatsuki, Boy or Girl

Title: Boy or Girl?

Rating: T

Warnings: Crack. With whipped cream on the top.

Authors Note-Short, but slightly funny. I hope.

"…remind me why we are doing this again."

"To get everyone to know that I'm a boy, un. Now come on."

The two men walked into the Akatsuki lounge. Everyone looked up.

"Deidara…why is Sabaku no Gaara standing in our living room?"

"For a demonstration, un." Deidara turned to face Gaara's impassive face. "Now, strip me."

Kisame choked on the chicken teriyaki he was eating, Itachi blinked, and Kakuzu's pencil snapped on contact with the paper.

Gaara remained emotionless. "No."

"Do it, un."

"No. You are a boy. I am not gay."

Deidara turned triumphantly to the crowd. "See? I'm a boy, un! Now quit calling me a girl! Um, guys?"

Everyone had vanished and was in the bathrooms hurling up their lunch and breakfast.


	5. Naruto, Hinata Drunk

Title: Drunk

Rating: T

Warnings: Crack. And nonsense.

Author's note: Request from my friend. She wanted a NaruHina.

"Hinata-chaaaaannnn!" Hinata found herself in the clutches of a pink faced Naruto. "Will you be my wiiife Hinata-chan?"

"E-eh?! Naruto-kun?!" She wildly swiveled her head around, and finally looked at Sasuke, standing a few feet away, obviously annoyed at Naruto's strange behavior. "Sasuke-san, what-"

"He's drunk," Sasuke deadpanned.

"A-ah…" She tilted her head down at the grinning, drunk off his ass Naruto and blushed. Well, she did have some spare room at her house…


	6. Naruto, Hinata Boobs

Title: Boobs

Rating: M

Warnings: Hinata's breasts.

Author's note: Sequel to Drunk. This…did not turn out very well…oh well.

"Hinata-chan, you have biiig boobs," Naruto slurred, prodding her breasts very indiscreetly.

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata blushed from embarresment and the fact the Naruto-NARUTO-was touching her most prominent womanly feature. Her breasts. Even Hinata had to admit that they were a bit oversized.

"I still haven't given up on marrying you, y'know Hinata-chan?" Naruto grinned, showing off his white fangs. Wobbling slightly, he raised his fist and gave her the thumbs up. "Don't think I'm done yet!"

Hinata felt her blush deepen. Ah yes, this was why she had always loved him. His never ending determination. She had admired him for it so much.

But her crush did not lessen the fact he was still poking her breasts.

Oh well…he should stop being drunk anytime soon.


	7. Sound Four, Nightmare

Title: Nightmare

Rating: K+ (wow, first one. XD)

Warnings: Crack. And boys cross dressing.

Author's note: Spawned out of the mental image of Sakon in a dress (OK, with help from happysmile's Sakonerella deviation).

* * *

"AARGH!!" Pulling at his hair, Sakon screamed to the heavens. "WHAT-IS-THIS-THING-ON-ME?!?" 

"…it's a tutu. Get over it." Ukon scowled as he tugged at the frilly Lolita dress draped around his thin frame. "I hate pink."

"At least you don't have to wear this," Jirobo grimaced, gingerly picking the edges of the little girl dress with little white daisies on the front. "What kind of mission is this?"

"It's not a mission. We got sent to some other place by some crazy witch and ended up like this," Kidoumaru wheezed, quietly trying to ignore how this-thing-was slowly squeezing the life out of him. Headlines-Sound 4 member Kidoumaru strangled to death by a red tango dress. That would certainly be a popular issue. "And unfortunately, these things aren't removable."

"Worse that that, we're stuck in this sissy place." Tayuya scowled as several butterflies and white fluffy bunnies fluttered and hopped past, outlined by the rainbow coated sky. "Anyone got any suggestions how to get out of this nightmare?"

The boys all simultaneously shook their heads no.

Several boys in brown suspenders stopped to listen curiously at the foul language echoing in the crayon green valley.

* * *

...review please. 


	8. Sasuke, fangirls, MYZ, SMH Bathroom

Title: Bathroom

Rating: T

Warnings: Sasuke locked in his bathroom which is horded with drunk fangirls

Authors Note: Request from SMH-chan, who stars in this fan fiction, is one of my best friends at school. EVER. I also star here and we both have codenames, just so you know.

* * *

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Sasuke howled as he clawed the door savagely, sweating in panic as the horde of fangirls started to close in. He knew he should have took his shuriken pouch when he went to the bathroom. _Why does this always happen to me?!?_

"Sasuke-kun, don't go." "Yes Sasuke-kun, how about we talk about our marriage?"

"AARGH!"

* * *

Outside the bathroom door, a young teenager with dark blonde curls smirked while pulling at an Itachi doll arm. It tore off, and it floated to the ground. 

"Oi, Raven, nice job in the mob," she directed at an young asian girl squatting on the floor, carefully disposing of the sake she had dosed into the girls water bottles.

"Thanks. It was a pleasure to do this Mare."

"Definitely." And it strangely seemed that both girls eyes glowed a vengeful red in the gloom.

* * *

Kukukukuku… 


	9. Orochimaru, Tayuya Savior

Title: Savior

Rating: M

Warnings: Angst, character death

Author's note: This may not make much sense, so bear with me. Orochimaru X Tayuya for DeathGoblin. I warned you that I can only write angst for this couple…

* * *

Tayuya hates Konoha because they murdered her parents. Slaughtered her entire clan and left her to rot under a pile of burning logs. But Orochimaru had saved her. 

But now, as she lies under the tree trunk that was crushing her, she realizes no one is going to come save her now. Not even Orochimaru himself. She realizes she was his puppet, and he was pulling the strings all along. But somehow, she cannot resent him for it. She cannot resent him, no matter how hard she tried in those last moments.

And as everything was being eaten away by black flames, she knows she will never hate him because he saved her.

Because even in death, he will always be her savior.


	10. Temari, Itachi Apron

Title: Apron

Rating: T

Warnings: Crack pairing, crack theme. You have been warned.

Author's note: For SMH-chan who requested Itachi in a frilly pink apron. Temari was my idea.

"Temari."

"Yes Itachi?"

"Remind me exactly why I am in this again."

Temari sighed, exasperated. "Itachi-kun, you are in it because you lost the bet that we made. Now stop complaining."

"…did the bet require that I only where the apron and nothing else?"

"Yes, yes it did. Now shut up and let me admire your ass."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"Yes it was, stupid."

"…ah."

Temari's mood lightened slightly when Itachi turned back to the stove and gave her a very good view of his hindquarters. She decided that this betting gift she had wasn't such a bad thing after all.

This was fun to make. XD Dammit Mare, review sometime!


	11. Kidoumaru, Temari Goodbye 2

Title: Goodbye 2

Rating: T

Pairing: Kidoumaru X Temari

Warnings: Depression, teenage angst, crack pairing

Authors Note: OK, decided to write a sequel. Sorry about my crappy attitude in the first drabble. Hope it didn't cause any problems.

* * *

She never thought she would see him again. Especially not like this. Temari never expected to see the six armed man she had had a little episode with appear in front of her like this-dead and bloody and bruised, killed by the Hyuga boy. 

She has seen worse. Her father's face, gone and missing from his body, her brother turning into a salivating monster from the depths of hell, her mother's body covered in a blood stained sheet. So she doesn't understand why something wrenched within her when she saw that still, unmoving body which had belonged to a man she had met only once before, which she now learned had assisted in her father's murder, in the near destruction of Konoha, in the kidnapping of Uchiha Sasuke. She doesn't understand why tears began to well up while she stared at the body of Toumon no Kidoumaru.

She walks outside afterwards. There are trees here, she thinks, so different from Suna with its barren lands.

She can imagine him swinging in those trees, grinning with that wolfs edge he had had when she met him. She can imagine him grinning at her again, and she wishes she had had a chance with him, and a chance to say goodbye.

But now, it was too late.

It was too late to say goodbye.


	12. Kidoumaru Memories

Title: Memories

Rating: M

Warnings: Child abuse, angst, Hell's gates

Author's note: Request by louiemoto. Because she was the first reviewer for this series, I shall have Kidou still have his six arms. Please visit this story again louie!

* * *

Rattling, shaking breaths. 

"_Whoever asked for something like you for a son anyways?"_

_Glass breaking. Stinging pain across his cheek._

Coughing up blood onto the hard, dirt ground.

_A woman screams at him. "Why did you have to ruin my life?!"_

The Hyuga lying motionless in front of him.

_Hard, stinging coal burned on his back. He screams, pounding his fists on the floor, but his father barely notices as he continues to press the hot black stone on his sons already swollen back._

Unrelenting pain as his body aches from the Hyuga's attack.

_He staggers through the streets, holding his bleeding arm. _

"_Don't you come back!" his father shouts, shaking his fist. "Don't you ever come back, you monster!" _

_His mother merely watches as her son limps away into the horizon._

The gates of Hell are rising behind him.

"_Come with me," the white-skinned man says. "I'll take good care of you. I will show you that you are not a monster."_

They are sucking, ripping his soul from his body into their black depths within.

_The man begins to walk away. The boy runs to keep up with this god that has excepted him, six arms and all._

And as Kidoumaru begins to sink into Hell, he knows that it really is true. Your memories really do flash before your eyes when you are about to die.

* * *

Sorry for the bad ending. 


	13. Kidoumaru, Hinata Dango

Title: Dango

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst, experiments, AU, and KidouHina friendship/shippiness.

Author's note: I need more inspiration people. PLEASE. At least a theme and a pairing/character will do.

* * *

The first time he sees her is through his cage in which he is confined in. She is most probably one of the scientists experimenting on him-something about a special stimulant in his blood. 

Funny. She seems too innocent to be a killer.

She is talking with one of the other scientists-was his name Neji?-and it seems she is arguing with him.

Exhaustion eventually overwhelms him and he slips into blissful nothingness.

* * *

He opens his eyes, and blinks to adjust his eyesight. She is still there. There is something glistening on her cheek. 

Is she crying? He wonders faintly.

A doctor comes up and places a hand on her shoulder, but she brushes him off angrily and tearfully.

Another doctor comes up to him, unlocks his cage, and slips out a syringe full of clear liquid filled to the brim from his sleeve. He inserts the needle into his skin, and everything goes black.

* * *

Someone is shaking him. Reluctantly, he opens his eyes. It is the woman with long indigo-black hair and pale eyes, holding something out to him. 

He blearily blinks at her, trying to clear his vision. She holds the stick with rounded things on it, gesturing for him to bite into it. Too tired to oppose, he bites obediently, and is suddenly more awake as the sweet taste floods his mouth. Questioningly, he tilts his head at her.

"What is this?" he asks, his voice harsh and rough from pain and non-use.

She smiles gently (beautifully) and says softly, "It's dango."

Her voice is soft and sweet, like the dango he is currently chewing on.

Perhaps he would touch her mouth with his lips. Perhaps they tasted as sweet as her voice and the dango in his mouth.

Perhaps.


	14. Zaku, Kin Gone

Title: Gone

Rating: T

Warning: Zaku X Kin, Angst, Blood, AU-ish, Memories, Drama

Author's note: Just wanted to make a Zaku X Kin, seeing as they are severely neglected in my stories. I had writer's block for some time-sorry guys. ''

* * *

He is wearing black, from head to toe in mourning. Her face _(impossibly, unbelievably beautiful) _remains still. 

Zaku wants to cry. But he doesn't.

"_Ne, Zaku, you can't keep crying about lost things, you know that?" Kin scolds him as he sniffles slightly over his lost bandanna. "You just gotta keep moving." She then smiles at him, and goes back to the fireplace to heat up the soup from yesterday._

He kneels down, and begins to scrape at the dirt with his bare hands. After five minutes, blood is already beginning to trickle from underneath his nails.

"_Zaku! Hurry up!" she calls, and he races to keep up with her fast pace, a leftover instinct from their thievery days._

He has made a small hole, long enough to place her body within. He continues to make it deeper, his black pants stained with mud.

_It is her tenth birthday, and he hands her a necklace made from a long purple ribbon with a bell tied on the end. "It was all I could find," he mutters, a faint blush staining his cheek with pink. He looks at her, and is happy to see that she is grinning._

It is finished, and he straightens up. Mud has covered him all over, and blood has mixed with it. It gives off a sickening, faint smell of copper.

_Kin is crying softly, as blood continues to pour out of Zaku. "You promised!" she screams at the man in front of her. "You promised!"_

_He grins, teeth glinting. "Since when did I promise anything?" Then he swings the blade down, and all Zaku can see is red as she falls._

He places her body within the hole, and begins to cover her body with dirt.

He leaves the necklace with her. He knew she would always want it.

_Zaku looks at her broken body,and for the first time in many years, bursts into tears. "No…" _

As he stands over the grave, he can't help but think that she looked beautiful, even when she was gone.


	15. Zabuza, Anko and An Awkward Conversation

Title: An Awkward Conversation

Rating: T (to be safe)

Warnings: Crack pairing ahoy, possible OOC-ness

AN: For AyanaPL, very long overdue. Personally, I'm not too happy with this one, and I've never written these characters before at all, so please critique me in the review if you think they're too OOC.

* * *

"…get off me."

The woman purred. "Don't think I want to, sexy."

He growled. Damn, what was up with this woman, crawling up his back? He didn't think he had done anything to attract attention here in Konoha. Yet.

And where was the kid when you needed him? He fantasized briefly about the kid's needles slicing into the woman's neck, effectively stopping her annoying back hugging, and grinned beneath the bandages.

"Why're you smiling? You finally discovered my sex appeal?" She grinned deviously. "Let's have some fun Zabuza."

Zabuza, for the first time in his life, decided it would be wise to shake Mitarashi Anko off and race away to save his virtue.


	16. Itachi, Ino, and Glasses

Title: Glasses

Rating: K+

Warnings: AU, Crack pairing

AN: Request by LeEvilOne. This is one of those 'what if Itachi didn't massacre his clan and stayed in Konoha' universes. Tell me if I'm writing Ino wrong, please.

* * *

Itachi squinted at the price tag in obvious concentration. He gazed deeply at the tiny black numerals, attempting to decipher what it said, then rubbed his eyes because of the obvious pain he was causing himself. The Sharingan had taken its toll onto him, causing him such horrible eyesight he sometimes walked into walls. Curses. He was glad Sasuke couldn't see him now.

Ino, on the other hand, felt like laughing her ass off. This was the great Uchiha Itachi, reduced to squinting horribly at labels. Huh. Some things really do change.

"You know Itachi-san, you could always get glasses," she called to him from behind the counter. "Or buy a magnifying glass."

Who was talking? Oh yes, the blond and purple blob from behind the counter. Yamanaka Ino, was it? "I would rather not," he stated flatly, boring his eyes into the tiny cardboard paper. "It is not necessary."

"I see. What type of flower are you supposed to buy, again?"

"Tulips," he muttered.

"Really? Then why are you over by the daffodils?"

He blinked. Oh. Shit.

Ino bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears of hysteria. "Spare your pride and get some glasses, Itachi-san. I'm sure they'll come in handy." Then she exited to the bathroom to collapse on her side, roll around and laugh like a baboon.

Itachi ended up leaving his money on the counter and exiting the shop in, astonishingly, embarrassment, with a handful of tulips and a mind to go to his optometrist.


	17. Kidoumaru, Shikamaru of Past and Present

Title: Games

Rating: T

Warnings: Kind of slash but not really, angst, drama, crack pairing, AU-ish

AN: For louiemoto. Kidoumaru X Shikamaru. I'm sorry I couldn't really fit in the plot you had in mind…but I tried fitting it in somewhat (don't hurt me). And I'm also sorry that this doesn't really make sense. I'm hoping that you readers get a grasp on the basic idea though.

* * *

Shikamaru had only seen him once or twice. The kid walking down the street, light mocha colored arms pulled behind his head _(back when he only had two)_, and chatting aimlessly with his twin friends and that foul-mouthed girl with the dark brown eyes.

Shikamaru had only heard about him once or twice. The genius boy, the orphan boy, the jounin boy _(the outcast boy) _are all names for that one person.

Kidoumaru.

Shikamaru didn't really pay attention to him much—after all, paying attention was much too troublesome, and he hated troublesome. Plus, why should he pay attention to a guy who was barely even in the village, he was so busy completing missions. It didn't make sense to bother.

It wasn't till after the chuunin exams that his father forced him to participate in that he starts to pay attention. Orochimaru's henchmen kill the twins in the attack, and the girl is injured. Kidoumaru tries to protect them, but he fails horribly.

Shikamaru's last image him for a long time was the boy sobbing over the twins' broken bodies and the girl clutched in his arms, Kidoumaru's own back slashed and bleeding from a kunai wound.

Why did that boy _(once so inexplicably strong)_ fail? Was it because he was weak? Too clever? Too…everything?

After a week or two, Shikamaru learned that Kidoumaru had run off to the Village of Sound after the girl died in her sleep—perhaps for revenge, but Shikamaru wouldn't have know. He didn't bother to know him.

After another week or two, Kidoumaru was back, with a fresh tattoo on his neck and two more pairs of arms by his side. He was seized, taken into a cell and locked in there for a long time. Shikamaru didn't hear about him for a while.

It isn't till two years later that he visits the cell. Shikamaru is a jounin now—capable of defending himself if necessary, and assigned to converse with the older man who was once a prodigy.

He doesn't need to defend himself. Kidoumaru greets him accordingly, gestures for him with one of his many hands to _please, sit down, make yourself comfortable, would you like to play a game?_

Oh yes. Kidoumaru liked to play games. He remembered from one of those times he had seen him, laughing triumphantly while one of the twins sulked in his loss. Kidoumaru loved to play games.

Maybe that was the reason why he failed in the end.

Kidoumaru grins, that same familiar grin but with a wolf's edge that wasn't there before he left and became someone else. "Well?" He asks. "Would you?"

_Would he?_

Shikamaru smirks faintly and sits on the ground. "Let's play."


	18. Dosu, Kin, and of Things Unspoken

Title: Things Unspoken

Rating: K

Warnings: …not really any warnings for this one, unless you hate the pairing Dosu X Kin. Or you hate the genre of drama (hey, that rhymes!). This is also blantantly AU. See if you can guess the time period.

AN: For AyanaPL.

* * *

They meet at the edge of the hall, her dressed in a black gown that made her look washed out and frail and him dressed in a tux that made him look too tall for his own good. Her hair is long, cascading down to her waist, and her eyes look too large for her face, fraught with tension.

She still looks beautiful, Dosu decides.

They stare at each other for a few minutes. There is no tension between them—just silent, unspoken words that will never be heard.

Kin holds out her black-gloved hand out to him in a gesture of cordiality and formality, gazing at him expectantly.

Well? Her eyes say. Are you going to take it?

He takes it gently and smiles just enough for the action to grace his lips. Then, together, they walk into the awaiting banquet.


	19. Gai, Sakura, a Passionate Declaration

Title: The Passionate Declaration

Rating: T

Warnings: It has Gai/Sakura in it. What else do I need to warn you about?

AN: For Van the Key of Lain.

* * *

It was at Ichiraku Ramen that Kakashi managed to work up the courage to ask Gai a Very Important Question. Note that this was a valiant effort, as Gai was currently spraying broth and noodle remnants onto his rival in his attempt to get the food down. The more time we have, the more goals we can reach, he had roared to the sky a few days ago.

"Gai," Kakashi choked out, discreetly wiping off a piece of meat that got stuck. "I have something to ask you about."

"Yes, my eternal rival?" Gai shouted—or rather, splattered. All over Kakashi's mask.

Oh the horror.

"It's about Sakura," Kakashi gritted through his teeth using a napkin that Ayame had so thoughtfully given him a few seconds before to wipe his mask. "I want to know why you've been…following her."

"Ah, Sakura?" Gai boomed. "She is the loveliest blossom I have ever laid my eyes on! Her beauty radiates like a thousand suns! She is as strong as Tenten! Maybe stronger!" Gai suddenly eyed Kakashi in reproach. "Do not take this as a defeat, my rival. One day Tenten will excel past your Sakura and conquer the title of the strongest kunoichi!" He leapt up on the table in a flurry of passion. "But until then, my love for Sakura will never die! Never!"

Kakashi merely stared in absolute horror.

Miles away, on a mission in Suna, Haruno Sakura felt an audible shiver run down her spine. Then she sneezed, and wiped her nose.

"Someone must be talking about me."


	20. Dosu, Hinata, As She Stands

Title: As She Stands

Rating: T

Warnings: Drama, crack pairing

AN: For SaiyanWarrior200. Takes place during the Chuunin exams. This doesn't really make sense, but bear with me.

* * *

It is almost painful to watch. Dosu can tell the girl is weak—weaker than her genius cousin, to be kinder. She is no match for him.

Again she falls, and Dosu wonders why she just doesn't give up yet. _S__ave yourself_, he thinks, _do not disgrace your clan._

But again she stands up, wobbling a bit before raising her head. Those silver eyes gazed into her cousin's own and Dosu feels a stab of pity before feeling admiration overwhelm it. If this girl survived, then perhaps she would make a good kunoichi.

Finally, in a matter of two minutes the match is over, and the girl is carried away on a stretcher, blood oozing from her mouth.

Dosu looks at her, stretched out on that stretcher like a broken doll, and knows that she will survive.


	21. Kimimaro, Sakura, the Appointment

Title: The Appointment

Rating: T

Warnings: Crack pairing, AU

AN: For SaiyanWarrior200. Also stars Kidoumaru as Kimimaro's chauffer.

* * *

Sakura stared at her patient sternly, looking him up and down. He was sitting in a wheelchair, propped up awkwardly like a doll on a shelf. His green eyes gazed right back at her, framed by his silver locks draped around his face.

"So," she said. "You're in trouble again?"

He didn't flinch. "Yes."

Sakura sighed. "What did you do this time?"

"He strained a muscle and almost broke his leg again," said his companion, coming in from the doorway holding a bottle of chocolate milk from the hospital cafeteria. He grinned at Sakura. "Hey. Long time no see."

"Hello Kidoumaru-san." She smiled back at him, and was surprised to see Kimimaro scowl. Oh my. "He did, did he?"

"Yes," Kimimaro growled, "I did."

"Hey man, don't sound so mad. Here's your milk." Kidoumaru handed the beverage to Kimimaro before sauntering out of the room. "Call me when the appointment's done and I'll come and get you," he hollered over his shoulder.

There was an awkward silence before Sakura turned to Kimimaro and smiled. "Well, I'll need to check your leg first, so hold still, alright?"

"Hn."

Good lord. The boy was just like Sasuke.

She sighed. This was going to take a long time.


	22. Itachi, Hinata, Confiding and Trust

Title: Confiding and Trust

Rating: T

Warning: Crack pairing

AN: For demon scream.

* * *

Hinata hated days like this. Absolutely hated them. First, her alarm failed to go off (she really needed to have that checked) even though she precisely set it to go off at six AM. Then, she was almost late to work, though she managed to get there in time thanks to the bus. Then, last but not least, her boss was so close to firing her it wasn't even funny. The only reason he even kept her around anymore was because of her tits.

God, the pervert.

She was now sitting at her favorite café, Red Dawn. The name was weird, but they made the best freshly baked cookies that literally melted in your mouth when you bit into them. Yum.

Hinata ordered precisely two of those cookies and waited at her table quietly, fidgeting slightly and staring determinedly at the tabletop. She refused to think about the way the boss had stared at her. She refused.

"Hinata-san?"

That voice was familiar. She glanced up, her lips parting in an 'o' of surprise. "I-Itachi-san!" She stammered out. Her mind whirred as she stared at her distant cousin in surprise. "I-I didn't know you worked here."

"Now you do," he said tonelessly, placing her tray onto the table. "Here's your order."

"Th-thank you." Itachi remained there, and she wondered if she had something on her face. "U-um—"

"Is there something wrong?" He interrupted her. Hinata swallowed. Itachi had a habit of staring at someone so long that it began to grate on their sanity.

"N-not really…" She trailed off at the end, head lowering back down to the table.

Itachi was still fixed there, staring at her expectantly. Already she felt her self-esteem drop a few points. "O-okay, yes. But you can't tell Neji-niisan or anyone."

He nodded accordingly, sliding into the seat opposite of her and folding his hands in his lap.

Hinata took a deep breath and began.


	23. Kidoumaru, Sakura, the World's an Enigma

Title: Enigma

Rating: T

Warnings: Some political debates, mentioning of slash and D. Gray-man manga

AN: The content in this story is not meant to offend anyone's war opinions, nor is it necessarily my point of view. It was merely made for the enjoyment of people who do not have political views.

* * *

"There's a lot of things you don't understand about this world."

Sakura blinked, and gazed at her friend. "What?"

He snorted and folded his arms behind his head. "You heard me."

"I heard you. It's just that I don't understand what I don't understand."

Kidoumaru laughed. "Hey, that can be a tongue twister. 'It's just that I don't understand what I don't understand,' 'It's just that I don't understand—"

"Get to the point Kidoumaru." They were sitting on the lawn of the school, grass stains on their clothes and feeling the breeze run over them.

"The point is, the world is stupid. The world is messed up. People know that there are civil wars going on in Africa. And what about that big war America's having? Don't you think it's stupid and pointless?"

"I don't see how this equivalents to the fact that I don't understand the world."

"I didn't say you didn't understand the world. I said there were a lot of things that you didn't understand."

"Continue with the lecture."

"Anyways, war is pointless. And stupid. The civil wars, World War I—everything. All war does is give grief and pain to everyone. Hell, if this were inside that manga D. Gray-man, the Earl would be having a field day. But we still do it, don't we?"

"Yeah."

"The world consists of grief. It's like it feeds off of it. Right now there are bunches of people dying because of illness, naturally, motorcycle crashes, or otherwise. It all causes grief.

"But the world also feeds off of happiness and joy. Babies are being born, people are getting married, getting engaged, eating their favorite foods right at this moment. Tons of things make the world go 'round.

"So hell, even though I said that you don't understand a lot about this world, there are a ton of things I don't understand either. The world's basically an enigma."

There was only the rushing sound of the warm afternoon air as Sakura processed the information.

"You're right. There's a ton of things people will never understand about this world. Like how you beat up Neji in the ninth grade then went on to date him."

"Hey! It was all for a good cause!"

She laughed.


	24. Tobi, Deidara, Stood

Title: Stood

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst, One-sided love, Slash

Author's note: I do, in fact, like DeiTobi. I find it attractive, thank you very much. Oh, and this was written long before Madara came into the picture, so don't bug me about that, all right?

* * *

Tobi is—was unsure of his senpai's sanity. He wasn't sure what it was that made him think that. Was it the way that Deidara's eyes had always lit up when his chemicals exploded in the lab, or the way that he would always comment on art? Tobi thought it was both.

"Tobi, you're a dumbass, un," he had said one day when Tobi was still five years old, molding the wet, moist clay into a bird. "Art isn't about lasting forever. It's about explosions and destruction. And most of all," Deidara said, the familiar glint lighting up in his eyes, "that fleeting moment of light. Did you know that no explosion is ever the same, Tobi?"

Tobi replied no, he didn't, and Deidara had laughed at him and called him a dumbass all over again.

Tobi still loved his senpai though. He knew he always would, and nothing Deidara did or said would change that.

That's why he stood by him all those years, even as Deidara became a criminal, bombed towns, joined Akatsuki, the most terrible gang in history, began smoking—all through which Tobi has stood his ground.

But Tobi knew that one day, his senpai would get caught, and he does after ten years, when Uchiha Sasuke caught him outside the base.

But Deidara laughed and laughed and laughed and took out his special bag of explosion mix and swallowed it whole. He was still laughing as Tobi watched in horror in the shadows as he blew to pieces along with the whole street. He took the Uchiha with him, but Tobi was still standing, even after being blown back several hundred feet with the ruins.

And Tobi, the good boy, the dumbass, and the one who had preserved by his senpai for fifteen long years, wept in the blackened ruins as the police came screeching around the corner.


End file.
